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Bill's fatal distraction
Neurotic, needy, naive . . . what
more could a president want in a mistress, wonders Amanda
Foreman
Monica's Story by Andrew Morton 288pp, Michael O'Mara, £16.99
Just towards the end of Monica's Story there's a single
line of intelligent commentary. Suffice to say it does not
come from Andrew Morton himself, but from Alan Dershowitz.
Morton quotes the American lawyer who saved from prison that
other shining light of probity, Claus Von Bulow, as saying
that Special Prosecutor Kenneth Starr turned a "tawdry
series of Oval Office encounters into a constitutional crisis".
Morton has gone one better. He has turned a tawdry tale about
a groper, a slut and her treacherous best friend into an
international bestseller.
I feel outraged by what subsequently happened to Monica
and I hope the book makes enough money to pay off her legal
bills. But frankly Monica's Story is not worth the £16.99
when you can get the unexpurgated version on the Internet
for free. Morton tries very hard to jazz up his story with
a couple of flashy references to Diana. However his usual
free-flowing style has clearly been constrained this time
by the threat of lawsuits from interested parties. As a result,
there is a certain amount of uncharacteristic pussy-footing
as well as a hilarious delicacy in some of his descriptions.
On other hand, of course, Morton may truly believe that Monica's
mother, Marcia Lewis, the author of a gossipy book about
the Three Tenors, is a "quietly self-effacing women
who lives for her family".
Monica's Story is really Monica's explanation for three
things. First, why she never cleaned her blue dress. Second,
why she sniveled and whined in such a toe-curling manner
on the Linda Tripp tapes; and third, why she performed oral
sex on a married politician and was indiscreet about it.
Morton's answer to number one is that she is neurotic; to
number two that she is needy, and number three that she is
naive. This is all very well for soap opera aficionados who
want some Mc-Ology with their human disaster stories. But
what most people want to know is how did this neurotic, needy,
naive pain in the neck attract the most powerful man in the
world.
Monica's seduction of Bill Clinton - for that is what it
was - is almost riveting enough to make the book worth reading
in the shop. After all it takes some doing for an overweight
office junior to catch her boss's eye long enough to send
the signal that she's ready for anything. Monica and Morton
insist that she wasn't a "clutch" (the White House
nickname for desperate, lovesick interns), but the supportive
mistress of a selfish older man who controlled every aspect
of their relationship. But the facts of the story contradict
them. Monica was the clutch to end all clutches; Clinton
never had much of a chance. She introduced herself by giving
him an unsolicited peek at her underwear. Two hours later
she was performing oral sex on Clinton while he talked on
the telephone. Only a man of deep principle, or a happy husband,
could have resisted such a cheap and easy gift. Clinton must
have thought himself the luckiest 50-year-old in the world.
Presumably he was too busy to see Fatal Attraction when it
first came out.
Morton can describe Monica as Bill Clinton's mistress, but
the sad truth is that she was just a nameless fondle in the
shadows who would not take the hint to leave. Clinton tried
to end the 'affair' after just six weeks; by then it must
have dawned on him that this delightful California geisha
girl had a sense of entitlement bigger than the national
debt. Over the next two years it was not Israel, or Iraq,
or education, healthcare or employment which occupied the
greater part of the President's thoughts but the problem
of placating Monica. She wanted a job to suit her self-image
and by golly the President was going to give it to her if
it was the last thing he did, which it almost was.
The 'affair' continued for two years because every now and
then Clinton would give in to Monica's relentless pleading
and allow her to perform oral sex on him. Morton offers no
clear reason as to why Clinton never consummated the relationship.
Being a British writer he is obviously unaware that "eatin'
ain't cheatin'" as locals below the Mason-Dixon line
will say. Clinton is a Southern Baptist so presumably he
was observing the custom that there is only one act which
the Bible expressly forbids, namely fornication. The rest
is venial but it's not mortal.
Morton really wants to place Monica in the pantheon of mistresses
that includes Madame de Maintenon and Lillie Langtry. In
that case, she ranks somewhat lower than Katherine Howard
but higher than the Whore of Babylon. Nevertheless Monica
has earned a permanent place in the history books. She has
become one of the most famous political courtesans in the
world without having had sexual intercourse with the man
in question or possessing the slightest interest in politics.
It is ironic how far the status of politician's mistress
has fallen in just a few decades. In a pre-democratic age
the role of political mistress was one of the few jobs that
genuinely provided women with fortune and power. Social attitudes
towards the maitresse en titre, while being no less hypocritical,
were far more tolerant in, say, the 18th century than today.
Although the phenomenon of the political mistress was a
result of legal and social inequality, that does not lessen
their impact or influence at the time. Princess Lieven, for
example, was perhaps the most feared and even hated female
politician of the Regency period. Her intrigues with Chancellor
Metternich, George IV, George Canning and later Earl Grey
are the very stuff of politics. Nevertheless, she was an
aristocrat born to fulfill certain expectations. Far more
impressive for its upward thrust is the picaresque life of
Lola Montez, the Irish dancer who briefly governed Bavaria
as the Countess of Lansfield. One cannot blame her for pursuing
the liberal policies which resulted in the putsch against
her government.
The advent of sexual equality and universal suffrage is
meant to have eradicated the shameful presence of the political
mistress. Shameful because women were exchanging sex, or
friendship, for power and influence. Instead women now have
the right to offer themselves freely and get nothing in return,
like Monica. At the same time, society has become unforgiving
of women who enter political life through any other portal
except the ballot box. The late Pamela Harriman was probably
the last great political courtesan of the 20th century. Her
methods were neither worse nor better, simply different.
At least she has been spared the humiliation of seeing herself
compared with Monica.
The Americans have another saying, "If
the milk is free, why buy the cow?" This lies at
the heart of Monica's Story; she gave away her milk for
free and became upset when there were no buyers. The
only politics involved here are ordinary sexual politics.
Forward
to third Guardian article
Manhattan Transfers
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